
MUMBAI – MAHARASHTRA – INDIA December 13, 2020 07.00 P.M.
I am always saddened whenever I attend a marriage function. It seems bizarre because marriage functions are for festivity and an occasion for celebrations. But for me it is a study of human emotions. I always watch girl’s mother and try to study her emotions. And without fail the expressions and emotions are always same.
On December 6, 2020 I attended my nephew Ishan’s marriage at Jabalpur. It was a grand occasion with lots of pomp and show. Everything was meticulously planned and executed.
![Ishan Chaturvedi [ Towards my right ] and Nisarg Chaturvedi [ Towards my Left ]](https://mevidur.files.wordpress.com/2020/12/img-20201207-wa0025.jpg?w=1024)
On the last day we were assembled in a hall for farewell function. All the members of the family and our relatives , along with Ishan and his bride Punam, were present. There I saw Punam’s mother. She, with blank eyes and melted face, was silently giving presents to all of us. Her body was doing the chores as was required or as per the instructions but her soul was not there.
I was there watching her silently. She was obviously happy because she knew that her daughter got married into a good family. But she must be crying inside because she knew that today a part of her existence is getting permanently separated from her. She must be thinking about her daughter’s safety and well being. She was giving us gifts but grieving inside and was lost in her thoughts. Faded and forced smile on her face told the real story which I was able to see very clearly.
After the ceremony, when everyone was relishing the delicacies, I started searching for her. She was not there. I wanted to talk to her, wanted to assure that her beloved daughter is in safe hands [ Ishan could be anything but a tyrant or a bad husband. ] but she was nowhere to be seen. May be she was in her room all alone and lost in thoughts . Away from the prying eyes of us and even her own family members, a mother can only grieve in isolation. She must be sitting in her room and wailing silently because a mother would never like to spoil her daughter’s happiness. She simply left the hall without eating anything, without putting a single morsel into her mouth.
December 7, 2020 was the last day of her life when she was with her daughter. She will definitely meet her during family functions and other solemn occasions but things will not be same again. A mother knows that after marriage daughters become guests in her parent’s house. Daughter’s name and even gotra is also changed. A father gradually forgets his daughter. Brothers have their owns dreams and aspirations in life. So thought of a hapless sister married to an unknown man and living in a far away corner of the world is not of much importance for them. For male members of the family a daughter’s marriage is a goal accomplished, a duty finished and a task done and dusted. But a mother is a mother. No member of the family will ever notice but a part of mother’s mind always remains with her daughter. Unable to do anything or help in any way, still her soul hovers over her daughter’s world to see that everything is honky dory in her life. Even while sleeping silently a mother can never remove her daughter from her thoughts. During muggy afternoons of summer, wet evenings of monsoons and chilling , wintry nights of winter, when all the family members are busy with their daily chores and some mundane, asinine works, a part of mother’s mind and soul wanders away from her home and starts moving around with her daughter.
I searched for Punam’s mother in the hotel but in vain. May be she left for her native place with empty stomach and teary eyes.
Do you know what will happen next? Slowly years will pass. In this mortal world one day her journey will come to an end. In that distant future Punam will be leading her life happily. Surrounded by her own children and her husband she will lead a happy and blissful life and she will be totally oblivious of the fact that her aging, lonely and infirm mother always remembered her fondly. Each moment of the day, each day of the year and each year of her life she remembered her daughter, prayed for her safety and well-being and cried silently in her absence. Saga of an unknown mother will come to an end. One more mother will leave this world …. unknown, unheard and unsung.
Punam will fully understand this feeling when she will herself become mother of a girl child and one day in a distant future when her own daughter will get married – she will understand every word of this blog.
Alas!! this untold and unknown saga of an anonymous mother will wither away ingloriously for the world at large. World goes on like this.
This marriage is important for me for one more reason. This is coming of age of Nisarg Chaturvedi. A 25 year old boy, who is youngest in the family, was, for me, a revelation. He had a vision about the ceremony, conceived it and got it executed with minutest details, precision and perfection. He shouldered entire burden without grumbling and managed everything beautifully. Surrounded by a posse of his assistants [ known as SHADOWS ], he bestrode the venue like a benign dictator. I will narrate two examples of his management skill. On my arrival, I was surprised to see a wheelchair parked in front of my cottage. Nisarg knew that my wife is indisposed and got operated recently so she needs help to get up and walk. Therefore he arranged for a wheelchair. It is a small gesture but to remember this in the hustle bustle of a marriage ceremony speaks volumes about his care, eye for details and hunger for perfection. There is one more example. On the first day there were no sweets in the menu. I pointed out this shortcoming to him. From the next day there were variety of sweets available for us.
Nisarg was always ambitious. He has strong likes and dislikes but he is not bellicose, imperious or disobedient. He got this opportunity, rather snatched the opportunity from his father’s hand and came out with flying colours. I am happy for the fact that the younger generation of Krishna Kunj Chaturvedis will be worthy successors of their glorious ancestors. [ Not us but our father and grandfather. ]

A word of appreciation is also needed for Ishan, the groom. He is elder to Nisarg but willingly and happily followed each and every instruction of his younger brother. Ishan never complained, never cribbed and never made grumpy face that he is being kept under leash by his younger brother. These days when brothers are ready to fight a fratricidal war on slightest provocation, Ishan willingly acquiesced to his younger brother’s requests or rather orders.
Ishan in many ways is a replica of his great grand father Late Kunj Bihari Chaturvedi. But this subject needs a separate blog.
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VIDUR
MUMBAI – MAHARASHTRA – INDIA
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Filed under: Memoirs | Tagged: Ishan Chaturvedi, Kamal Nayan Chaturvedi, Krishna Kunj, Kunj Bihari Chaturvedi, Nisarg Chaturvedi, Vidur Chaturvedi | Leave a comment »