No Place For Old People In Young Party of New India


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MUMBAI – MAHARASHTRA – INDIA           MARCH 28 , 2014           11.55 P.M.

 

” Never lose sight of the fact that old age needs so little but needs that little so much . ” – Margaret Willour

” Our society must make it right and possible for old people not to fear the young or be deserted by them , for the test of a civilization is the way that it cares for its helpless members . ” – Pearl S. Buck

” In youth the days are short and the years are long : in old age the years are short and the days are long . ”  – Nikita Ivanovich Panin

” Growing old is mandatory ; growing up is optional . ” – Chili Davis

” Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man . ” – Leon Trotsky

” Inside every older person is a young person wondering what happened . ” – Jennifer Yale

 

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Election times are always strange times in India . One can witness many unusual happenings , many bizarre scenario . One such thing is clamour for young blood in politics . There is nothing wrong in the demand per se . In fact young blood is always welcome and it should be more than welcome in the arena of politics .

But what would you say when a 76-year-old Mr. Jaswant Singh is replaced by a young ( ? ) candidate Col. Sonaram Choudhary in Rajasthan , who is 71-year-old ? He is a Congress turncoat , and Shri Jaswant Singh is a loyal party worker and old party war – horse , but it becomes insignificant in the young party of new India . What would you say when there is a cacophonous clamour for the retirement of Shri Lal Krishna Advani from public life ? Several crooks are ruling the roost and Shri Advani has unblemished record of service in public life . His only fault is his age . Unfortunately he is 86 . Is old age sin in our country ? Is it a crime to get old or be old in new India ?

Not always . Former Communist Chief Minister of Kerala , Shri V. S. Achuthanandan [ Velikkakathu Sankaran Achuthanandan ] , the grand old patriarch of CPM is 90 and is still active .

M. Karunanidhi [ Muthuvel Karunanidhi ] , the DMK patriarch , also known as Kalaignar , is 89 . Both , far from saying good-bye to public life , are on election trail . Both are going through rigorous and tortuous daily routine during election time in this hot , unbearable Indian summer . They are yet to bid adieu .

Take the case of world leaders . Oldest ruling monarch is 85-year-old King Bhumibol Adulyadej , the King of Thailand . This year he completes 67 years as the King of Thailand .

Queen Elizabeth II of United Kingdom is 87 years old and she is firmly in the saddle . She ascended the throne in 1952 . This year she completes 62 years as the reigning queen . Far from retiring , these two monarchs are still calling the shots and are much respected and revered in their respective countries .

Let us take few examples from the world of cinema .

 

Hollywood Actors :

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1 ) – At 82 , Clint Eastwood is still very much involved in the movie making business. In 2012 he plays an aging baseball scout in “Trouble With The Curve ” [ 2012 ] .

Clint Eastwood  also keeps his plate full directing movies . His most recent films are ; ” Invictus ” [ 2009 ] , ” Hereafter ” [ 2010 ] , ” J. Edgar ” [ 2011 ] and ” Jeresy Boys ” [ 2014 ] . Thus from 1955 to 2014 , its 59 year-long and uninterrupted career .

2 ) – At 90 , Christopher Lee is still acting in Peter Jackson’s ” The Hobbit “ movies .

3 ) – At 96 , Kirk Douglas , the star who starred in ” Spartacus ” [ 1960 ] , worked last in ” Empire State Building Murders ” [ 2008 ] . From 1946 to 2008 , it is 62 year-long career .

4 ) – At 96 , Olivia de Havilland , who enthralled audiences world over in the classic ” Gone With The Wind ” [ 1939 ] , is still working . Her last film ” I Remember Better When I Paint ” [ 2009 ] . It is incredibly 74 year-long career which started in 1935 .

 

Indian Actors :

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1 ) – The ever – green Ashok Kumar’s career spanned for 61 long years . Right from ” Jeevan Naiya ” [ 1936 ]  to ” Aankhon Me Tum Ho ” [ 1997 ] , Dada Muni , as he was fondly called , was working till he was 86 .

2 ) – Pran is another gem in the crown . He was active till the age of  83 . From ” Yamla Jat ” [ 1940 ] to ” Kiska Dosh ” [ 2003 ] , it was 63 year-long career .

3 ) – Dev Anand , another indefatigable legend , worked for 65 years . From ” Hum Ek Hain ” [ 1946 ] to ” Charge Sheet ” [ 2011 ] , it was an awe – inspiring 65 year-long journey of perennial glory and ever – lasting super – stardom . He was 88 when he died . He released his last film ” Charge Sheet ” same year , which was written, produced and directed by him . He also starred in it as the main protagonist . It is unbeatable record in the world of cinema in India .

There are such people in the world of literature also .

Writers :

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1 ) – Khushwant Singh , the age – defying author ; novelist , historian and journalist , died at the age of 99 .  He wrote till he was 97 years old . ” The Mark Of Vishnu and Other Stories ” [ 1950 ] to “Agnostic Khushwant : There Is No God ” [ 2012 ] , he enjoyed 62 unquestioned active years as an author of repute .

2 ) – Maya Angelou , the American writer , poetess and civil rights activist , is writing since 45 years . She is 85 now . Yet to retire , she is widely respected and revered in the U.S.A.

 

So why this clamour for the retirement of Shri Lal Krishna Advani or denial of ticket to Shri Jaswant Singh ? I feel it is not related to age . This is power – struggle . New satraps want to remove old guards unceremoniously and they are taking positions behind the age factor . A person should be respected for his / her age and should not be despised . Age is a boon . When I read comments related to age I am peeved . A person serves his organization from the young age . He gives his life in the service of his party and organization . And suddenly one day a new ascending leader appears on the scene and simply orders the banishment of the old guard . Though the old person in question is not infirm or incapacitated . No one is questioning why Shri Atal Bihari Vajpayee is not given a ticket . Everyone knows that he is bed – ridden and can’t even speak or recognize people . But Shri Lal Krishna Advani is still active and mentally alert .

” A man is not old untill regrets take place of dreams . ” – John Barrymore

No one can stop new leaders or younger people from ascending the firmament . But it does not mean curtain for older leaders , who are still fit and can still serve the country. I feel sad , when I see that contribution of Shri Lal Krishna Advani is being overlooked . Malicious , derogatory and abusive comments are continuously being posted on the various social networking sites , so that he should get dejected and retire . Suggestions are being dished out by so-called party – sympathisers that old people should accept the new order and should not crib or demand any special privilege . It was recently said by the alleged member of the alleged ” Club 160 “ said that old guard should learn to accept ” no ” to their demands and they should accept the dictate of younger dispensation with graceful silence . It was said that they should learn to get adjusted to the new , changed ways of the young party of the new India . It could be argued that it is true to some extent . But the tone and tenor of this statement was contemptuous , smug and full of hubris . It was disrespectful .

” Never lose sight of the fact that old age needs so little but needs that little so much . ” – Margaret Willour

Then what is the solution . In my opinion there should be a fine balance between old and new generation . For every young Arjun , there has to be a sagacious Bhishma Pitamah and an experienced Dronacharya . For every imperious and bellicose Duryodhana , there has to be a sagely Vidur and a stoic Kripacharya . If this fine balance in the time of yore could not save us from a devastating Mahabharata , what will happen , if today we will have only inexperienced Arjuna and imperious , bellicose and belligerent Duryodhana in our mist ?

Think India , think ! And be afraid . Be very afraid !

” There is one more terrifying fact about old people : you are going to be one soon . ” – P. J. O’Rourke

 

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On behalf of all the students and staff of VIDUR Acting Institute , I urge for the respect of elders and pray for the betterment and well – being of my country .

VIDUR Editing Studio , VIDUR Club and VIDUR Theatre also pray for our beloved India and out age – old ethos .

 

[ I have taken information about world and Indian leaders from Wikipedia . For Hollywood actors , I have taken information from a website ; http://www.pajiba.com I am indebted ]

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Lal Krishna Advani & Dilip Kumar


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MUMBAI – MAHARASHTRA – INDIA           SEPTEMBER 19 , 2013           11 . 10 P.M.

I wanted to write this blog a week back , when Shri Narendra Modi was anointed as the Prime Ministerial candidate of Bharatiya Janata Party . But I was busy writing an article on Mahamana Madan Mohan Malaviya for a Kenyan magazine , which is published from Nairobi , capital of Kenya . Yesterday I mailed that article to Shri Ram Chandra Pandey , Pracharak of Hindu Swayamsevak Sangh , Kenya . Today , as I am relatively free , I am sitting in my study and writing this blog .

I am a fan of Dilip Kumar . My veneration for him knows no limit . In his career spanning 54 years [ when he was working and was active ] , he has done only 59 films [ including Guest appearances ] . Out of his 59 released films , I have seen 45 . I have seen many of his films several times . Ironically I have not seen his first film Jwaar Bhata ” [ 1944 ] and his last film ” Quila ” [ 1998 ] .

Let us have a look on his career and achievements . He was nominated 18 times for the Filmfare Awards , and won it 8  times . He was awarded Padma Bhushan in 1991 , Dadasaheb Phalke Award in 1994 and was a nominated member of Rajya Sabha also for one term . In 1998 he got Nishan – E – Imtiaz from the government of Pakistan .

His towering and gigantic personality hovered over my horizon from Ganga Jumna ” [ 1961 ] , which I watched in 1967 , till today , when he is recuperating in the ICU of Lilavati hospital .

Thus from 1967 to 2013 , it is a 46 – year – long association full of reverence , veneration and respect . It refuses to ebb .

English: I took this picture when he paid a vi...

Dilip Kumar in MouthShut.com office in 2006 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But Dilip Kumar’s benign and all-pervading shadow on my life was disturbed and somewhat eclipsed with the advent of Amitabh Bachchan in 1969 . From Saat Hindustani ” [ 1969 ] to ” Satyagraha ” [ 2013 ] , he has acted in 186 films [ including Guest appearances & Voice overs ] . And out of 186 , I have watched 120 films . ” Anand ” [ 1971 ] was the first film of Amitabh Bachchan , which I watched . Ironically I have not watched his first film ” Saat Hindustani ” [ 1969 ]  and his latest ” Satyagraha ” [ 2013 ] . An uncanny coincidence of my life , which happened in the case of Dilip Kumar also .

The Amitabh Bachchan juggernaut , in real sense of the term , started with ” Zanjeer ” [ 1973 ] . One year later Dilip Kumar came with a critically acclaimed but flop ” Sagina ” [ 1974 ] .

Two years after ” Zanjeer ” [ 1973 ] , Amitabh Bachchan gave two iconic super hits , ” Deewar ” and ” Sholay ” [ 1975 ] . Again one year later Dilip Kumar came with triple role in a much – delayed and moderate hit  ” Bairaag ” [ 1976 ] .

After hiatus of 5 years , Dilip Kumar started his second innings with hugely successful ” Kranti ” [ 1981 ] . But same year Amitabh Bachchan gave 3 super – hits ” Lawaaris ” , ” Yaraana ” and ” Kaalia ” [ 1981 ] and hugely likable ” Silsila ” [ 1981 ] .

They both , a year later , came together in critically acclaimed , highly likable but a box office dud ” Shakti ” [ 1982 ] .

Dilip Kumar last came in ” Quila ” [ 1998 ] and 2 years later Amitabh Bachchan started his second innings  with hugely successful ” Mohabbatein ” [ 2000 ] . And the juggernaut , which started with ” Zanjeer ” [ 1973 ] still continues unabated in 2013 also .

Thus from  ” Anand ” [ 1971 ] to ” Satyagraha ” [ 2013 ] , it is a 42 – year – long association of me with Amitabh Bachchan also .

Let us have a peek in the other achievements of Amitabh Bachchan . He briefly dabbled in politics and was member of the 8th Lok Sabha . He got Padma Shri in 1984 and Padma Bhushan in 2001. His achievements in the film world are no less spectacular compared to Dilip Kumar . He has got 3 National Awards and unbelievable 39 Filmfare nominations in several categories , though Dilip Kumar holds the record of winning 8 Filmfare trophies .

But I must admit with all honesty that despite his unprecedented and unbelievable accomplishments , acceptance of Amitabh Bachchan was not easy for me . Though I watched his films with much admiration and appreciation , and as stated earlier , I have watched 120 films of Amitabh Bachchan but my hero , my idol was always Dilip Kumar .

Amitabh Bachchan

Amitabh Bachchan at IFFA Award 2006 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And I think being a fan and admirer of Dilip Kumar does not mean that I don’t accept Amitabh Bachchan’s persona or demean it . They both hovered on my horizon . They both influenced me immensely . I am a fan of both of them but it is also a fact that Dilip Kumar reigns supreme and stands few notches higher .

Coincidently photographs of Dilip Kumar and Amitabh Bachchan , which I have posted here , were clicked in 2006 .

English: cropped photograph of L K Advani with...

L K Advani outside his residence. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Same is the case with Shri Lal Krishna Advani . I first heard of him in 1967 when I was in High School . 1967 is the same year when I came to know about Dilip Kumar through his film , a golden jubilee hit ” Ganga Jumna ” . So in an uncanny way my association with Dilip Kumar and Advani ji started in the same year , 1967 .

Advani ji became my political hero during my school , college and university days . I came to know Dilip Kumar when Amitabh Bachchan was yet to make his debut . In the same way when I started admiring Lal Krishna Advani , Shri Narendra Modi was yet to make his debut in politics .

Shri Narendra Modi , just like Amitabh Bachchan , has spectacular achievements to his credit . Shri Narendra Modi , just like Amitabh Bachchan , is hugely popular . Shri Narendra Modi , just like Amitabh Bachchan , is continuing with his unstoppable juggernaut . Shri Narendra Modi , just like Amitabh Bachchan , is the current idol and is liked by the cadre immensely .

English: Narendra Modi in Press Conference

Narendra Modi in Press Conference (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But as I have said earlier , in my heart Dilip Kumar still reigns supreme . And being a fan of Dilip Kumar is in no way an insult to Amitabh Bachchan . Admiring Dilip Kumar is in no way derogatory to Amitabh Bachchan . In the same way my political hero is Shri Lal Krishna Advani . And being a Lal Krishna Advani admirer is in no way an insult to Shri Narendra Modi .

It is just a question of whom you grow with . Your hero of growing years is going to be your hero till your last breath .

Shri Narendra Modi , just like Amitabh Bachchan , is the current favourite . But it doesn’t mean that Dilip Kumar and Lal Krishna Advani have no relevance or have no achievements to their credit . I like Shri Narendra Modi and Amitabh Bachchan for their achievements , but I idolize Dilip Kumar and Lal Krishna Advani for their glorious innings and immense contribution in their respective fields .

I again assert that being an admirer of Advani ji does not make me an automatic hater of Modi ji . Persons like me who have admired Advani ji all their life , can’t accept a new icon in one night . It is going to be a slow and difficult process . This was the case with Amitabh Bachchan also . But gradually Amitabh Bachchan’s all-pervading shadow inundated me completely . Slowly and eventually same will definitely happen with Modi ji also . But till then Advani ji is my political hero as Dilip Kumar is my screen idol .

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I told this story to all the students and staff of VIDUR Acting Institute , which is known as Vidur’s Kreating Charakters  . Today I am expressing it for the followers of my blog and general public , who visit my blog space .

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First Day of Holy Month of Shravan 2013


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MUMBAI – MAHARASHTRA – INDIA           JULY 25 , 2013           00.40 A.M.

While writing this blog on the first day of Shravan of 2013 , I have to make one thing very clear . I am ashamed today that I am unable to write my blogs regularly and more frequently . After I started in March 2009 , only once could I write 31 blogs in a month .  It was in December 2012 . And the lowest was 1 blog in March 2009 . It was the month when I started tentatively , hesitatingly and with lots of doubt .

Today as I write this blog , I remember two other avid bloggers , whom I admire and try to follow . They are ; Shri Lal Krishna Advani and Shri Amitabh Bachchan . Amitabh Bachchan would be completing 71 years in October 2013 . And he writes and posts 1 blog daily . Shri Advani ji would be completing 86 years in November 2013 . And he writes minimum 2 blogs every week . And here I am …….. I would be completing 61 years in December 2013 . I am 10 years junior to Mr. Bachchan and 25 years junior to Shri Advani ji . And still I am not so consistent and regular like them . Sometimes I could write only 3 / 4 blogs in a month . I , instead of admonishing myself , try to convince that I am busy . Could I be busier than Shri Lal Krishna Advani or Mr. Amitabh Bachchan ? No I am not . I sometimes procrastinate . I am definitely busy but not as busy as Shri Advani ji or Mr. Bachchan . Apart from writing blogs , Shri Advani ji wrote a voluminous autobiography also , which was published in March 2008 . Advani ji’s autobiography , My Country , My Life is a 1040 page tome . It became the best seller book in non-fiction category . Till date it sold more than 1,000,000 copies . Incredible ! Unbelievable ! A remarkable feat by a 86 year young national leader and ex Dy. Prime Minister of India .

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Malayalam loves Wikimedia event – 2011 April BJP Leader L K Advani (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Amitabh Bachchan

Amitabh Bachchan (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Apart from Shri Advani ji and Mr. Bachchan , I am a huge fan of Roger Ebert , the American film critic . He was so prolific . How could he managed ? Apart from watching all the released films of the particular week , he wrote reviews , articles , columns , interviews and books , yes books . He wrote everything with gusto and regular alacrity . If he could do it , why can’t I ?

Roger Ebert, american film critic.

Roger Ebert, american film critic. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I follow Vir Sanghvi too . He writes articles in newspapers . Writes regular weekly columns about politics , food , and good life . He travels a lot and comes and writes travelogues . How is he managing ? Can I have gumption to say that I am more busy than these eminent writers and columnists . No . Its sheer inertia , laziness and procrastination .

Therefore on the first day of holy Shravan , I make a resolution that from now onwards I will be more regular . As least a target of 2 blogs per week or 8 blogs per month is not difficult . It is achievable . Holy Shravan of 2013 will mark a new beginning in my life as a blogger .

AMEN !!!!

I am writing this blog on the 1st day of Shravan and when I will post it , it will be 2nd day of Shravan .

 

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Through my blogs I would like to serve  VIDUR Acting Institute , which is known as Vidur’s Kreating Charakters  . VIDUR Editing Studio , VIDUR Club and VIDUR Theatre would also benefit from this endeavour .

 

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Thinking About Advaniji !!


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MUMBAI – MAHARASHTRA – INDIA           JUNE 13 , 2013           01.15 A.M.

On June 10 , 2013 , while sitting in my institute’s office , I suddenly heard a TV anchor’s voice . He said , ” Lal Krishna Advani resigns from all the posts of Bharatiya Janata Party [ BJP ] .”

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Shri Lal Krishna Advani outside his residence. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was shocked and dumbfounded . BJP without Advaniji or Advaniji without BJP is not comprehensible . I left every work and was glued to the TV set for a while . I watched the news for sometime and then started recollecting the incidents of past few days .

In BJP since almost 1 year there was a clamour for bigger role for Shri Narendra Modi . No sane person can find fault with this . But the picture was being painted as if Advaniji was against this . The fact of the matter is that Advaniji was solely responsible for Shri Narendra Modi’s elevation to the post of Chief Minister of Gujarat and he also saved Gujarat strongman from being sacked in the aftermath of Gujarat riots of 2002 . Shri Atal Bihari Vajpayee wanted to remove him from the post . So how can he be against Shri Modi ?

Every BJP leader , who were assembled at Goa for the party’s National Executive Committee  meeting , took a decision to appoint Shri Narendra Modi as the Chairman of  The Campaign Committee for the 2014 Lok Sabha election . Since Advaniji didn’t attend the National Executive meet , he was painted as a villain , a greedy old man who was hankering for power and pelf. There was even a demonstration in front of his New Delhi house by some organization called Modi Sena .

I was pained by the sight . It was unbelievable and unthinkable few years back . No sane BJP worker will demonstrate against Advaniji . But some Modi Sena staged protest and instead of condemning it immediately and wholeheartedly , BJP leaders simply distanced themselves from it . That is all for this deplorable act .

Then , when asked about Advaniji’s health , BJP spokes-person Prakash Javdekar said in Goa , ” jab mausam badalta hai to log beemar pad jaate hain ” . I simply ask , is it fair ? ” …………….. mausam badalta hai ……………. ” indicates some connotation and it carries unambiguous meaning in the given present context . A Prakash Javdekar commenting like this and sarcastically taunting Advaniji , is deplorable . In my opinion it all started after the 2009 Lok Sabha defeat .

The then former Goa chief minister Shri Manohar Parrikar reportedly told a local news channel Prudent Media, “Pickle tastes good when it is left to mature for a year. But if you keep it for more than two years, it turns rancid…Advaniji’s period is more or less over. Another couple of years and after that he should act as a guardian or mentor for the party.  It’s like Sachin Tendulkar.  However mature an innings he may play, he will have to stop playing sometime.”

Parrikar said though he respected Advani for his integrity, the party should give importance to younger leaders. “I am not against elders, but the BJP should give prominence to leaders who are between 40 and 60 years.”

[ I have taken this above quoted piece from DNA of September 22 , 2009 . ]

Therefore there seems to be a conspiracy against Advaniji . I think that is the reason he took a painful decision of resigning from the Bharatiya Janata Party , which he nurtured whole of his life . He resigned on Monday , that is on June 10 , 2013 .

What followed afterwords is more sinful and shameful . Verbal abuse on twitter was unleashed . Obnoxious postings on facebook by some Rastra Dharma Rakshak and it’s patron Dhiraj Desmukh started with ferocity . This Rastra Dharma Rakshak supports Shri Narendra Modi and posts obscene comments about  Advaniji . Some comments are not even worthy of writing . Again a deafening silence by BJP on such posts is baffling .

A day after his resignation , when efforts were on to persuade Advaniji to take back his resignation , a certain  Prabhat Jha , the vice Prsident of BJP , said that one individual is not above the party . In fact this sermon is being dished out from several other sources also . Can I ask why the party was not above the individual when it got just 2 seats in 1984 ? From 2 seats in 1984 to a first BJP led government in 1998 , and to 182 seats in 1999 , Advaniji worked tirelessly . May I know why party was not above the individual in those momentous but dark and futureless 14 /15 years ?

He is accused to be driven by personal agenda . From 2 seats to 182 seats , from a party on the periphery , to the ruling party at the centre , he led BJP to unimaginable glories and when the clamour for him to become the Prime Minister was reaching a crescendo , he proposed Shri Atal Bihari Vajpayee’s name . And the same person is now called by some minions and upstarts as driven by ambition and self – agenda .

Corrected few errors.

Map of Indian Provinces as Ruled by Political Parties (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Even today BJP rules 4 provinces [ Gujarat , Madhya Pradesh , Chhattisgarh and Goa ] on its own and 3 provinces [ Punjab , Bihar and Nagaland ] as dominant coalition partner . But votaries of new order say that BJP lost 2004 and 2009 parliamentary elections and its seat tally came down . It won only 138 seats in 2004 and 116 seats in 2009 . But such people conveniently forget the gradual ascent of the BJP . 2 seats in 1984 , 89 seats in 1989 , 120 seats in 1991 , 161 seats in 1996 , 178 seats in 1998 , 182 seats in 1999 , 138 seats in 2004 and 116 seats in 2009 . Even if seat tally came down to 116 in 2009 , it was much better than 2 seats in 1984 .

But political calculations are driven by convenience . And the current convenience is winning parliamentary elections in 2014 . And some people feel that for this task you need Shri Narendra Modi’s face .

It is absolutely fine . Every one welcomed the decision . But to anoint a new leader , you need not ridicule and mock the aging patriarch . This is India and respecting elders is our tradition . That is precisely the reason that people cutting across part line are supporting Advaniji and showing sympathy. Not only Indian National Congress but even CPI and CPI-M showed empathy towards him . Urdu press , which is not favourably dispensed towards Advaniji , was sympathetic and supportive . They called this behaviour of sidelining him unfaithfulness and betrayal of an aging senior .

I am a non entity . But I was saddened by the turn of events . I am only trying to raise my voice against the ridicule , insult and mocking of Advaniji , who is now 85 . We should not left him in the cold . To play a Balraj Madhok on him is not possible in this age of social media and if some one , driven by personal agenda , is trying to do this , he should be condemned .

I am raising my voice fully knowing that I may be in minority . But  TRUTH ALWAYS WINS .

” SATYAMEVA JAYATE NANRITAM ”

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NEWS LETTERI , along with my above mentioned institutions , wholeheartedly condemn the verbal attacks on Advaniji . After writing this blog I am relieved of my guilt . At least I have raised my voice against the insult being heaped on the aging patriarch of the family .

I am happy Advaniji , I am not in the list of people , who failed you at this juncture of your life .

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