MUMBAI – MAHARASHTRA – INDIA DECEMBER 17 , 2012 11.59 P.M.
Yesterday I got a call from my younger brother , Atul . He was calling from Lucknow and reminded me that today I would be completing 60 years of my existence . Tomorrow 61st year will start and according to government rule , it is time to retire and take rest .
I was bemused . It suddenly dawned on me that all my childhood friends are now leading a retired life and are busy in asinine activities with their grand-children .
Today , when I returned from my acting institute , I got a call from my younger brother , Devesh . He was calling from Jabalpur and he too gently reminded me that it is very important day of my life and now it is time to slow down .
Throughout the day I got calls and messages from my nephews and nieces . Their calls were also a silent and wordless reminder that they have grown up and yes , I am getting old . Or I am rather old .
Life at 60 is definitely different .
It is the time when you become feeble and vulnerable .
It is the time when any uncouth , uncultured and abusive upstart can abuse and threaten you with impunity .
It is the time when you are looking for help , another muscular accomplice keeps a vigil at the door , so that you can’t get any timely succour .
It is the time when you would like to react but have no physical strength to fight or even oppose the brute , his accomplice and his factotum .
It is the time when a person , unworthy of even becoming your peon or a scavenger in your house , can sent you an abusive message on facebook and you have to behave stoically because you are unable to give a tight slap on his abominable face .
It is the time when people working for you and who are family , can be abused and beaten up , and you are unable to protect them and you have to look the other way .
It is the time when you can be called fake by some people who are themselves unscrupulous and unethical .
It is the time when all the credits are usurped and blames are put on your door-steps.
I laughed at turning 60 . When my friends and peers are leading a retired life , I am waging a relentless struggle for my survival .
When my class-mates are leading peaceful life and enjoying fruits of their hard-earned money , I have to wager my house and other belongings and start my professional life from scratch .
When people of my age are playing with their grand children , I am risking my existence , my reputation and 23 years of my life as an acting trainer , tutor or whatever you can call me , and trying to shield myself from continuous and unabated onslaught of a brute , his accomplice and his factotum .
And then I remember phone calls of my brothers . Is it really a day to plan retirement ? Is it time to call it a day ?
No , my work is not over yet . I have to wager my existence , my whole life and prepare for a new Mahabharat . Sound of Krishna‘s Panchajanya is reverberating in my mind . His voice beseeching relentless war against lie and untruth is filling my psyche . As I am writing this blog Robert Frost’s lines are coming to soothe my frayed tempers :
My horse must think it queer ,
To stop without a farm-house near ,
Between the woods and frozen lake ,
The darkest evening of the year .
The woods are lovely dark and deep ,
But I have promises to keep ,
And miles to go before I sleep ,
And miles to go before I sleep !!
I know that I am in minority but I know that I am not alone . Conspirators have their accomplices but I have my benefactors . Children of a lesser God stood with me in my darkest hour . Apart from these 6 people shown in the photograph , 2 more have joined me in my was against lie and injustice .
Bhishma Pitamah stood to fight , when he was 120 years old . I am half his age . Time is not yet ripe for retirement .
Krishna fought when he was in minority . Chankya fought when was alone . But they defeated mightiest of armies .
I thank all my extended family at Vidur’s Kreating Charakters for standing with me . At the age of 60 , when I have become feeble and vulnerable , they stood with me , became my shield , braced all the hardships , worked without money and still they never complained .
I have to re-pay their debt . So even though government decides to retire people at the age of 60 , I won’t be able to take this luxury .
Battle goes on . The Saga still continues .
VIDUR
MUMBAI – MAHARASHTRA – INDIA
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